We're Just Racing Time

"Where's the finish line?"

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We are born into this world fumbling for meaning. Small, angry, anxious, purposeless.

When we manage to stop fumbling for that meaning turns out to be completely relative. Some find that meaning though certain activities. Some find it through different religions and ideologies. Some find it through dumb luck. And some just don't.

So when you never manage to find your purpose where is the finish line? When do you hit that point where you are content enough with what you have done to consider yourself successful? To be able to look back and see a list of accomplishments that were well worth you time and energy you put into them? Quite frankly, I don't know.

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But hell, even when you do find your purpose it is still difficult to determine that finish line. When do you decide that everything you have put towards that end goal is enough? How do you determine that you need to keep going?

We are all just confused meat-bags on a giant rock spinning toward infinity at a speed well past our own comprehension. What does our purpose and our finish line mean anyway? In the grand scheme of things, it means jack shit. Maybe your finish line ends up changing the world. But remember that the cosmos remains completely unaffected and completely indifferent to your existence.

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That is kind of dangerous talk, though. A world void of meaning on a cosmic scale leaves its inhabitants, themselves, void of meaning. But's it is hard not to think about, at least for me.

So when I wonder what true success is, I really don't have an answer yet. Traditional logic seems to point to success being to have a stable job, a lot of money, a loving family, ect. And, honestly, I think it's all bullshit.

I mean, really. A stable job lets you waste half your conscious life to earn scraps while you make someone else rich. Lots of money allows me to buy a bunch of other useless shit to waste more of my time on. Your family can actually be a pretty good purpose, but falls short for someone who wants to effect change on a grander stage.

Traditional success just doesn't work anymore for most people. And we should stop trying to measure people based on this tradition. How many times has "But you have a really good job!" ever managed to pull someone out of existential crisis?

"Oh, yeah, you are right. I have a job that pays me and stuff. I guess my life isn't meaningless."

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It's all bullshit. People with stable jobs, lots of money, and loving families aren't all fulfilled. Poor people, people lacking job security, and people without families don't always feel lost. Everyone handles things differently.

The point here is that I think a lot of us are wasting our time racing towards this traditional idea of success. We spend so much time running towards what society says should matters that we end up running away from the things that actually do.

As I said, we are all meat-bags on a rock. None of it actually matters anyway. So don't spend your time on someone else's version of success. Their definition is just as pointless as your, so fucking go for it. 

Unless your version of success means killing a bunch of people. Then, by all means, please subscribe to the traditional measure of success described above. 

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And if you still haven't found your meaning yet, just hold on. I'm going to be a little hypocritical in saying this, but not finding your meaning doesn't mean you have to follow traditional success. Just because you haven't found the right thing to follow doesn't mean you have to follow the wrong thing. It is okay to fumble for meaning. The idea is that eventually you will pick it up.

Don't take other people seriously. Find your finish line.