"But everything that happens is for a reason."
In the words of the immortal Kanye West "People in your life are seasons." And I'm not specifically just saying that to quote Kanye. It is a wise phrase from a once wise dude. We can all say we will never change, but we all do. In the end we change as quickly as the weather or as slowly as the color of the leaf, or at some other speed of some other thing. But we all do eventually.
And this isn't a bad thing. At least not always. Change is growth. Change is realization. Change is inevitable. And things that are inevitable tend to be scary.
Think about it. Death. Taxes. Heartache. And spiders (assuming you have arachnophobia). But the effect of the inevitable on you is dependent upon your interpretation. Death is the end of life. Taxes are a burden on the pocketbook. Heartache is the rejection of someone special. Spiders bite people.
But viewed from another angle things can transform. Death can be the beginning of new life, or the end of old suffering. Your tax money could be saving the life of someone that relies on the assistance it pays for. Heartache can be both the release of something painful and the opportunity to find something better. And spiders eat other shitty household pests.
I say that all to say this. Change is much the same way. It's effect is grounded in your interpretation of it. Health changes. Finances change. Jobs change. Living situations change.
This change with people is the one I struggle with the most. In my life I've very much been someone who looks to the past. I have fond memories of many people in many locations doing many things. But eventually those people I remember stop being the people I remember. So what do you do when that happens? Do you live in the past hoping that someday everything is going to go back to the way it was? Or do you close that chapter and move on?
Unfortunately, I've been delusional enough to fall for the former quite often. Some people's chapters in my life are short, some are long, some are just right, and some are boring, drawn out, and well past their prime. The ones I hopelessly hang on to are the ones that hurt.
I still have chapters open on people that I am sure have long forgotten who I am. People that are now just as stranger to me as those I pass in the supermarket. But their old image keeps my pen pressed to the paper ready to pick right back up where I left off. And that's a pretty shitty place to be.
I would view that closing of that chapter as the loss of something beautiful. The abandonment of everything that relationship meant. The removal of someone who helped mold me.
Or I could view that as the removal of a burden. You could stop writing that long shitty drawn out chapter of your life and begin a new one. One with adventure, friendship, and any other cliche you want to involve. But its hard to focus on the future when you are stuck in the past. People outgrow people. It happens. But that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to outgrow them too.
It's all a matter of interpretation. That said, I still struggle to close chapter and to write new ones. It's hard to stay positive in a world of gray. And in a world of Facebook memories its hard to let things go. But I guess that's my problem.
"And I heard em say, nothings ever promised tomorrow to day, but we'll find a way."